Beograd

Sunday the 11th of April 1999
The burden from Easter Day lies so heavy upon me that I wish I could be in Belgrade now; --there where the people are suffering under NATO's hammering. A futile wish, of course; what use would a crazy foreigner be to the Serbs at a time like this? I find myself longing to tell them they are cared for, they are loved.
And where was God during the NATO bombing?
Right there where the bombs were falling
Suffering with the people.

Shutting the stable door

Wednesday the 7th of April 1999.
My views of Serbia and of Serbs has been shaken to its foundation, and the sensation will not go away.
NATO has resumed the bombing. Our church holds a prayer-meeting about the Kosovo Crisis. The invitation to share prayer requests is given, but telling about my experience earlier that week doesn't quite seem to fit in. I hold back, but regret it afterwards, and tell the pastor after the meeting is over. He asks me to email the information to him, which I do, but the frustration of not speaking about things still hangs over me...

How Typical of God!

5th of April 1999
Was it real? or do I have an over-active imagination?
And yet my impressions from yesterday hang heavy upon me, and feel especially frustrating as I could not pass on the message straightaway (although I accept the wisdom of that decision).
I have had this kind of conviction come over me before. That doesn't give me a carte blanche to say what ever I feel like, though, and both the speaker and the hearer have a responsibility to check out the truth of a Word. What criteria am I to test this Word by?
Well, nothing seems unbiblical: that God loves the Serbs, I can see from the Bible; that God does not want the death of any, I know (-and it will be literal death once the bombs start falling again!) And I know God wishes to bless people everywhere.

But as I think of my Easter experience three things strike me especially as making this, "prophecy" ring true. (Let's call it that, even if it does sound pretentious.)

1. the unexpectedness. It was completely contrary to the current public opinion and definitely not something I felt already. On the contrary, given all that negative press and the continual stigmatization of the Serbs, I was more inclined to approve of the NATO reaction if anything!
2. the experience left me with a completely new sense of love, concern and identification with the Serbs and their plight. I felt like I was vibrating in harmony with heart of our Lord.
3. the positive content of the message:
   

Mankind wants punishment,
God longs to forgive;
Mankind uses force to solve things,
God prefers a change of heart.
Man stoops to bombing, war, destruction and hate,
God stoops to bless.

--How typical of God!